I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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