I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
