Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
