Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
