I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
