Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
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