u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
