I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize