Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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