even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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