So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
