just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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