Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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