She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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