That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
