I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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