Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
