You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
