So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
