Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
