do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
