And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
