Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
