Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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