Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
