I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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