I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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