I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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