The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
