brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
