No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
