maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
