Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
