And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
