my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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