You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
