the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
