She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
