trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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