How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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