Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
