We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
