the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
