fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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