Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
