his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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