I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
