Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
