"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
