At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
