Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
