I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
