No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
